A couple weeks ago I went to the Prestoncrest Ladies Retreat. To be honest, I was dreading it. I had impulsively signed up and even though I knew I needed it, I was almost to the point of dropping out. A sweet friend told me to go, I'd be fine once I got there, and to sit next to "Whitney" (not her real name) because she was fun. ;)
So I went and sat next to Whitney and she was fun.
But this weekend wasn't just about fun. In fact that wasn't what I drove home thinking about. (I was probably thinking about the fact that I needed a nap after I foolishly stayed up until 3 am talking to a dear friend, when both of us could have been fast asleep enjoying not being on mommy duty!) (but I digress, let's pretend I was thinking of loftier things) I was thinking about the loads and loads of truth Becky spoke that weekend. I have heard Becky speak twice before, and both times loved her delivery, her honesty, and her message. This weekend was no different. Here are some of the bullet points I came away with.
I Kings 17 - after Elijah delivers some bad news to King Ahab, the Lord sends him away to the wilderness where he provides for him. Until one day the brook dries up. And sometimes your brook dries up because someone else needs you. After the brook dries up Elijah comes across a widow who uses her last bits of food to feed him. And then miraculously her food doesn't run out because the Lord provides for them. And then the widows son gets ill and dies, because hard things happen to obedient people. Luckily Elijah was there to intervene and life returned to the boy. In the midst of our greatest joys and heartaches we need to have people to share them with.
I Kings 18 - after a "duel" between God and the prophets of Baal (which God wins handily) Elijah keeps sending a servant to look for rain, because he trusts that the Lord keeps his promises. And sometimes we need a friend to help us look for the Lord. We should all set aside time to be with friends that will show us the glory of God. We should pick one person to spend time with at least once a month to be each other's cheerleaders & prayer warriors.
Becky's mother told her, "We're always either in the midst of heartache, walking out of heartache, or blindly about to walk into it." A pessimistic but realistic point of view.
Just like in warfare today, Satan is devious. The enemy isn't after us because he hates us. He is out to wound our Father. He is out to punish the one who loves us. (This is one of those times where I'm feeling like God loves me a little too much ;)
But we must remember, the Lord is always with us, no matter where we are. And we end up together.
We are in a battle, and unfortunately people get wounded. We need to get angry, get back in there, and fight.
At the end of this weekend, the coordinator of the retreat stood up and said that she had needed to remind herself that if this retreat helped one person then it would all be worth it. And I don't know Amy, but I should let her know that I was the person. I needed to hear this exact message. I needed some normalcy. I needed the to get out of the house and my own head. And the chocolate. And the encouragement. And the middle of the night heart to heart.
Am I still mad/sad/frustrated/confused/unsure/doubtful/scared? Heck yes. Has this opened some very deep and raw wounds from trust and control issues? Yup. Am I working on it? Slowly but surely.
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